As you read this, I’m probably out for dinner or drunk. Or both. And that’s not just if you read this as soon as I publish it, but just a general life rule for me.
And this is why I am now 2 stone heavier than I want to be, instead of just half a stone.
It’s also why I am tired, achey, spotty and don’t fit into any of my clothes.
Several of my goals this year have been focussed on my health and losing weight, but I’ve really not done anything about them. I lost about 9 pounds at the start of the year, but have since put that all back on.
And so, on Wednesday evening, I pulled up my big girl pants, took a deep breath and went to my first Slimming World meeting.
I’ve never done anything like this before. When I was about…16? 17, maybe, I lost quite a lot of weight on the Weight Watchers plan, but I just did it at home, with my mum as my support group. I have never paid for anything or joined an actual group.
To be honest, this feels like a bit of a last resort for me. I don’t really want to pay out for it and I do feel a little bit embarrassed about needing something like this. I am only 25 and none of my friends seem to need or want to do anything like this. But also, I am only 25 – I can lose weight easily, and I can get control of this now, rather than when I am 45 and have spent half my life unhappy with my body, and steadily getting bigger. Because that is what is going to happen if I don’t do something about this. I am only 25 but I’ve not been happy consistently with my weight since I was about 13.
It’s difficult. I live in London, and I have a lot of friends, and I like to go out for dinner, and go out to bars and clubs, and have a bottle of wine with friends when we’re catching up and eat pudding and eat biscuits dunked in tea, and eat chocolate when I’m stressed at work or tired or bored. I like to eat big plates of food and feel full.
But in the last year or so, I’ve noticed that even though I still do all of this stuff, I’m not enjoying it as much as I think I will. I don’t enjoy all the crap I eat. I don’t fantasise about chocolate or cake. I eat them but I don’t really want them. Takeaways are one of my biggest vices but usually it’s just laziness and I don’t feel good after.
So, after hearing reviews from a few people I know, including someone at work, I decided to give Slimming World a go.
The plan seems simple enough, as long as you plan everything in advance. It’s lots of food and recipes that are very similar to what I eat when I’m being “good” anyway – I know how to eat well, I just don’t.
This weekend will be tough because my brother is coming down, but I am hoping that if I stick to plan as much as possible, actually drink water (as I’ve been barely drinking any) and add in a little bit of exercise, I should do okay on my first week. Because it’ll be embarrassing if I don’t lose anything.
The group itself seemed really nice, quite a mix of ages and weights and lifestyles. It was so motivating to hear about people’s weight loss, and to see how pleased some of them were about how they were doing. My consultant is cool; lovely but no-nonsense.
When one woman was talking about her weekend away and saying that she was going to cook dinner both times, the consultant was like “and what about breakfast, dinner and snacks? Slimming World is not just your dinner”. Which made me not want to have to ever tell her I had half-arsed my planning for a week!
But it’s true. One meal won’t make your weight loss. It’s everything you do! And this is why I’m always rubbish at weight loss, because I am so all or nothing.
I don’t know. I have crap sticking power when it comes to anything, but I am really hoping that the structure and motivation of a group will help me out.
Watch this space…..
Hey Wallace 